Friday, 17 December 2010

Talk Without Speaking

 The Christmas party season is upon us - so in case you need to brush up your flirting skills,  we've decided to post an excerpt from our title "The Lifestyle Lowdown: Pulling Power! Pick Up Tips for Guys" by Alison Norrington - here she talks about the importance of body language...

By now you should be looking great and be ready to socialize in places that are full of potential targets.  That means it’s time to check your body language!  It’s impossible to wow her with your sparkling wit and conversation across a crowded room, but there are a few simple, body language techniques that will communicate your confidence and charisma from a distance.  
Experts suggest that only 7-10% of communication is verbal. If this is the case, then you’re saying lots more without speaking than you probably realise!  The successful Pulling Power expert is aware of his body language, but comfortable with it too.  If your body language is relaxed and open, you make yourself immediately approachable.  

Here’s a check list of winning body language moves for you to try out: 

· make eye contact, hold it for a second or two, then look away.  Do this a few times.  The look, look away, then look again technique is a sure-fire winner.  All women can read this one!
· have great posture with shoulders back,
· don’t cross your arms,
· use hand gestures sparingly,
· hold your head high – this suggests positivity and control,
· walk slowly and steadily – this implies confidence, and
· smile at her!

And here’s a tip: in the same way that you guys are intimidated by a big, raucous group of girls out together, women can be put off when men are out in big groups –so if you’re on the pull, try to keep it to two or three friends max! And while we’re on the subject: while alcohol might help to relax you, it won’t do you any good in the body language or Pulling Power stakes. Remember, you’re on a fun mission - and too many shots will make you unattractive and may put you out of the game.  Few girls are attracted to a ‘drinking contest’ group, so as much as you want a great night out with the lads, if you’re trying to impress her, tone it down.  Go ahead and laugh, but don’t go overboard.  Keep an air of ‘cool’ – girls love cool!
You’ll know if your body language is working by reading her responses.  It has been reported that women will subtly ‘invite’ men to approach them by transmitting certain body language, so it’s equally important for you to know how to read her body language too!   Here are some signs that she wants to play:

  • She looks at you until you catch her eye and then she looks the other way.
  • You feel her eyes on you but can’t catch her at it.  Ask friends, or check the mirrors if you’re not sure.
  • She smiles across the room at you, but when you get near she freezes up.
If she’s giving you a smile and you find that every time you’re looking at her, she’s looking back at you, then it’s time to work the body language at closer range – get ready to go in for The Approach!  This doesn’t have to be a difficult move.  Regardless of venue, wherever you are, maintain your air of calm and simply approach her with a fantastic smile.  If she’s been giving off those positive body language signs, then she’s probably hoping you’ll approach her, so you have nothing to lose.  Just remember the eye contact, the steady, confident walk and the smile! - Alison Norrington, writing as Sophie Regan

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